Late-Night Hosts Lampoon Trump's Controversial 'Gold Card' Residency Program

TV's top entertainers spent the evening criticizing ex-President Donald Trump's newly launched visa initiative, called the "golden visa," portraying it as a clear cash-for-residency system for the wealthy.

Stephen Colbert's Pointed Spin

Opening his program, Stephen Colbert offered a satirical Christmas song directed at the president. "He is making a list, reviewing it twice, then giving that list to the agents at ICE," he crooned. "The President ... destroys each thing he comes into contact with."

The subject was the controversial program which enables international citizens to acquire U.S. residency for an investment of one million dollars, or "top-tier" version for $5 million. The program's page promises processing "in record time."

"A brief note here to rich immigrants: before you pony up, maybe think about Canada?" Colbert joked.

He noted that the card is also designed to "squeeze cash" from businesses wanting to hire foreign workers, with large costs. "That is a lot of fees, though if you enroll, you additionally get two free nights at a hotel of your choosing – if it's the Tampa Marriott Bonvoy," he continued.

"The best screening the U.S. government has before done," stated Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, "a $15,000 vetting to ensure these people absolutely qualify to be in America."

"That's important, you have to prove you're suitable to be an American," Colbert responded. "The initial query: how many hamburgers would you eat for a free T-shirt?"

Jimmy Kimmel's Scathing Roast

On his late-night show, Jimmy Kimmel dubbed the initiative the "U.S. Access Express Card."

"This is a card that will let affluent international individuals to live here," he explained. "In exchange for a million dollars, you get legal resident status, you get a road to citizenship, and a presidential pardon for one serious crime of your choice."

"It might be time to revise that poem on the Statue of Liberty – never mind your huddled masses. Pay a million bucks, you're in!" he remarked.

Kimmel lampooned the brevity of the application, observing it is "tougher to start a Wordle account." He remarked that Trump "sees citizenship is something you can sell, like a steak."

"That's right, the best people are the rich people," Kimmel said. "That's what Jesus always said! It's in the Bible. He says it's easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle if you pay the needle a million dollars."

Seth Meyers covering Economic Concerns

Meanwhile, Seth Meyers focused on Trump's declining poll numbers during financial worries. "The public gave Donald Trump a another term since they were upset about the economy," he noted.

This week, in a bid to discuss affordability, Trump conducted a briefing in front of a display of grocery items, and reacted strangely to boxes of cereal.

"These look great, I think I'm going to take some of them with me to my home and have a lot of fun," Trump stated. "Like the Cheerios, I haven't seen Cheerios in a ages."

"Trump is so incredibly weird," Meyers responded. "Like, you're going to take them back to your cottage to have a lot of fun with them? What exactly happens with those Cheerios?"

Meyers concluded by criticizing conservative media coverage of Trump's financial record. "Maybe instead of voicing concerns, you should give him a shiny trophy similar to what FIFA did," he joked.